Trigger warning – this post touches on deep and raw emotions relating to death, depression and suicide
The thing about suicide is, people do NOT commit it, it is not a crime. People die of it, just the same as any other cause of death. It is the final straw for a disease that has ravaged and over come someone. Unlike most, it is caused from a disease, that eats away at your soul and is invisible to everyone else. There are no scans or blood tests to diagnose it, there are no quick cures and for some it is a life long battle within.
Depression, Anxiety, Addiction.. and other mental health problems are the only diseases we BLAME the victim. The only diseases we judge people for having and deny all their suffering.
Suicide VS Suicidal
When someone dies of suicide, you question why they didn’t tell anyone what they were going through. You wish you could have prevented it and say you didn’t see it coming. You care, you cry, you talk about the great loss… how amazing they were, how loved and missed they are. Its nothing short of a tragedy.
When someone says they’re suicidal, you often see eyes rolls. People blow them off, pat them on the head and tell them that they’re fine. Their feelings are down played. You hear it as gossip, its treated as a joke or you think its just a phase. No one thinks anyone will actually do it.
When someone says they’re depressed or has anxiety, often you hear its all for attention, remark such as “they’ve got issues or need help” are made … yet no one gives it. Its said with ridicule and not out of care. You tell them to just get on with it… its a choice that they make.
It isn’t taken seriously enough…
Blowing off or trivialising another’s out cry, gets you no where, except a funeral.
So next time you see someone struggling, let them know that there’s always help to lighten their load. When you hear those subtle (and not so subtle) cries for help, give them your hand. When you see someone crying, wipe their tears. When someone talks about their feelings’, validate their emotions. When you see someone at their weakest, remind them of how strong they are. When they’re scared, let them know that they are braver than they think. When you see the warning signs, don’t ignore them.. make sure you call for help, because you CAN help save a life.
It can be confronting and it could feel too hard or awkward to approach – but living with “What If’s” is worse – trust me, I know.
No more blind eyes, no more down plays and no more jokes.
Its time to take a stand and make a change.
Lets lose this old school mentality and stigma surrounded by mental health.
Lets empower and support one another. Not just other women, but everyone. The men in our life, the children in our life, and the people not in our life.
No more telling boys they cant cry.
No more telling men that they cant talk about feelings.
No more telling one another to “toughen up” – come on Australia.. enough with the spoonful of cement spiel.
No more telling our kids to stop acting like babies.
No more saying “you’re alright” when you can see someone’s not.
No more saying “you’re a big girl/boy” when they are hurt – size doesn’t change how others feel or take away their pain.
Although harmless, these remarks are the reason we carry our burdens alone. Why we feel like no one cares, we cant cry or talk to anyone.
While consciously teaching our children they need to share toys, we subconsciously teach them not to share their feelings.
I don’t want to see another person go through what I’ve been through. I don’t want anyone else to feel the pain I have felt – my burden that I carry and heart break that will not fix. I’m not alone, I live with it daily along with thousands of others. But we don’t need to add to it, lets no lose another life, lets not give another burden, lets not cause anymore pointless heart break.
We all say that stuff doesn’t happen to us.. until it does. so lets help try to ensure it wont.
I know as a mum especially, I NEVER want my kids to think of this as an option.. but as a mum, I worry it could be, because of the mentality that is still running rife and harboured within our society.
Lets create the change; with less thoughtless remarks and more reassuring smiles and comforting cuddles… and hey, if that’s too much to ask, just tell people you care, and be there.. that’s it. Be there.
please talk to someone if you ever feel over come with emotion, you’re struggling or are having suicidal thoughts.
You can contact LIFE LINE 24 hours a day 7 days a week on 13 11 14, people do care.
If you too think this is an important message to spread, make sure you share this article with everyone you know and help combat mental health and suicide awareness. Let me know your thoughts, comment below.